Sunday, October 22, 2006
Just Plain Confused
It's been a weird and confusing 48 hours and I don't quite know what to make of it all.
Friday night at Nic's was a muddle.
In a span of three hours, I managed to:
a) find out that she either had a crush on me or Jenn (through a rousing round of truth or dare during which the question was put forth to her, 'do you have a crush on someone in this room?' to which she replied yes, and which I, through powers of observation deduced that the 'yes' referred to either me or Jenn.)
b) find out that her girlfriend had broken up with her the night before
c) realize — through a conversation with Vic, and through Nic's alcohol-induced touchy-feeliness with Jenn — that the 'yes' during truth or dare had probably referred to Jenn.
It wasn't exactly my finest hour as I spent the rest of the night sulking, waiting to sober up enough so that I could drive home at 2:30a.m. in the morning. Sober enough to drive, but nonetheless not completely sober. Yes, definitely not proud of that. Sometimes we all revert back to our kid-like ways.
Next morning, I pick up Vic so we can go watch Nicole's game in Corvallis. The idea had been for me, Vic and Jesse to go up and surprise her. I'd been planning it all week, but by Saturday morning, in the wake of the drama from the night before, I almost called off the trip.
Still, we went. And to my surprise Nic texted me asking if anything had been wrong the night before, and saying that if I wanted to talk, she'd be back in Eugene later that afternoon. I appreciated the gesture of concern. It meant that she cared what I was feeling/thinking.
We surprised her at her game, and then all went out to lunch. Nic and I managed to get a quick moment to ourselves, and she asked me what had been wrong the night before. I told her I was sorry I'd been a brat. Because I'd now realized that she'd probably just been too drunk the night before to really be in control of all faculties at once.
And I asked her straight out if she liked Jenn. Twice. She told me no. Twice. She said she'd just been drunk to the point that she'd needed to latch onto someone and just lean on them because otherwise she probably would have passed out.
We would have kept the convo going. But Vic and Jesse came back from the bathroom then, and we ended up agreeing to adjourn for later.
On impulse, we decide to take a spontaneous road trip to the beach. Florence is an hour away, beautiful, pristine white beaches, rolling waves, calm water, no one around for miled. It's amazing. Amazing to just watch the waves break, coming farther inland with every consecutive wave. Amazing to walk around in the sand, feeling it crunch between your toes. And amzing to just watch her, as she lopes around exploring on her own, as she tries to sandboard, as she lies on the sand, face turned to the sky, eyes closed, looking the very picture of contentment.
The beach leads to dinner at a seafood place in the little seaside town. And then we're driving home. She's tired as all hell, but insists on driving. So we grab coffee and head home, Nic at the wheel, me riding shotgun, Vic and Jesse in the backseat.
We never managed to finish our conversation. Maybe we will today. I'm hoping. I don't know what to think or what to make of it all.
Friday night at Nic's was a muddle.
In a span of three hours, I managed to:
a) find out that she either had a crush on me or Jenn (through a rousing round of truth or dare during which the question was put forth to her, 'do you have a crush on someone in this room?' to which she replied yes, and which I, through powers of observation deduced that the 'yes' referred to either me or Jenn.)
b) find out that her girlfriend had broken up with her the night before
c) realize — through a conversation with Vic, and through Nic's alcohol-induced touchy-feeliness with Jenn — that the 'yes' during truth or dare had probably referred to Jenn.
It wasn't exactly my finest hour as I spent the rest of the night sulking, waiting to sober up enough so that I could drive home at 2:30a.m. in the morning. Sober enough to drive, but nonetheless not completely sober. Yes, definitely not proud of that. Sometimes we all revert back to our kid-like ways.
Next morning, I pick up Vic so we can go watch Nicole's game in Corvallis. The idea had been for me, Vic and Jesse to go up and surprise her. I'd been planning it all week, but by Saturday morning, in the wake of the drama from the night before, I almost called off the trip.
Still, we went. And to my surprise Nic texted me asking if anything had been wrong the night before, and saying that if I wanted to talk, she'd be back in Eugene later that afternoon. I appreciated the gesture of concern. It meant that she cared what I was feeling/thinking.
We surprised her at her game, and then all went out to lunch. Nic and I managed to get a quick moment to ourselves, and she asked me what had been wrong the night before. I told her I was sorry I'd been a brat. Because I'd now realized that she'd probably just been too drunk the night before to really be in control of all faculties at once.
And I asked her straight out if she liked Jenn. Twice. She told me no. Twice. She said she'd just been drunk to the point that she'd needed to latch onto someone and just lean on them because otherwise she probably would have passed out.
We would have kept the convo going. But Vic and Jesse came back from the bathroom then, and we ended up agreeing to adjourn for later.
On impulse, we decide to take a spontaneous road trip to the beach. Florence is an hour away, beautiful, pristine white beaches, rolling waves, calm water, no one around for miled. It's amazing. Amazing to just watch the waves break, coming farther inland with every consecutive wave. Amazing to walk around in the sand, feeling it crunch between your toes. And amzing to just watch her, as she lopes around exploring on her own, as she tries to sandboard, as she lies on the sand, face turned to the sky, eyes closed, looking the very picture of contentment.
The beach leads to dinner at a seafood place in the little seaside town. And then we're driving home. She's tired as all hell, but insists on driving. So we grab coffee and head home, Nic at the wheel, me riding shotgun, Vic and Jesse in the backseat.
We never managed to finish our conversation. Maybe we will today. I'm hoping. I don't know what to think or what to make of it all.
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