Thursday, October 19, 2006
Caught in a Paradox
Oh the irony of it all. Nicole spent quite some time in the car on Sunday trying to convince me that the only way to get over Shadra is to convince myself that I'm done with her and put her out of mind completely.
I talked to Shadra yesterday. Sort of a post-game recap kind of conversation, to help me evaluate what I did wrong in the last game so that I don't repeat stupid shit in the next game. She's trying to convince me that the only way to maybe stand any sort of a chance with Nicole in the long run is to completely put all romantic feelings out of my mind and convince myself that I just want to be friends in the short run.
Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
Ye-ah.
And what happens when you get too ahead of yourself and try to play two games at once? You get fucked over both ways. Which I'm pretty sure is what's going to happen here.
Worst case scenario A: Nic and I drift, she either mends things with the girl and they fall back madly in love again, or they fall out of love, but she ends up hooking up with Jenn. Which is entirely possibly considering the fact that everytime the three of us are anywhere together, I feel like Jenn wins out over me. So yeah, game over and boo fucking hoo I watch them getting together. That'll be fun.
Worst case scenario B: Shadra comes down in three weeks time. She ends up crashing at my place, which means her in my bed, Marc downstairs on the couch. We hook up again, I get all messed up in the head again, I go back into that rut. Being the honest-as-shit person I am, I tell Nic that I hooked up with my ex, which drives her even farther away from me and into Jenn. And again, I end up with nothing.
Well, now that we have that out of the way, the world looks decidedly rosier. And everytime things look bad and I get down on myself all I have to do is read this post and realize that as long as things haven't fallen into the category of Worst case scenarios A or B, then I'm really not all that badly off yet right?
I talked to Shadra yesterday. Sort of a post-game recap kind of conversation, to help me evaluate what I did wrong in the last game so that I don't repeat stupid shit in the next game. She's trying to convince me that the only way to maybe stand any sort of a chance with Nicole in the long run is to completely put all romantic feelings out of my mind and convince myself that I just want to be friends in the short run.
Am I the only one who sees the irony here?
Ye-ah.
And what happens when you get too ahead of yourself and try to play two games at once? You get fucked over both ways. Which I'm pretty sure is what's going to happen here.
Worst case scenario A: Nic and I drift, she either mends things with the girl and they fall back madly in love again, or they fall out of love, but she ends up hooking up with Jenn. Which is entirely possibly considering the fact that everytime the three of us are anywhere together, I feel like Jenn wins out over me. So yeah, game over and boo fucking hoo I watch them getting together. That'll be fun.
Worst case scenario B: Shadra comes down in three weeks time. She ends up crashing at my place, which means her in my bed, Marc downstairs on the couch. We hook up again, I get all messed up in the head again, I go back into that rut. Being the honest-as-shit person I am, I tell Nic that I hooked up with my ex, which drives her even farther away from me and into Jenn. And again, I end up with nothing.
Well, now that we have that out of the way, the world looks decidedly rosier. And everytime things look bad and I get down on myself all I have to do is read this post and realize that as long as things haven't fallen into the category of Worst case scenarios A or B, then I'm really not all that badly off yet right?
Comments:
Post a Comment
