The Steffiverse

So I picked up her graduation present today. In case I haven't mentioned it — which I don't think I have— a week ago I came up with this brainwave of an idea.

This girl loves her alcohol. And she's obsessed with Spiderman. So I figured I'd get her a Spiderman liquor flask. Ye-ah. That's way easier said than done. Here's the problem: no one makes Spiderman liquor flasks. No one.

So then the idea was to get her a flask and have it engraved with Spiderman. That proved way harder to do than I'd originally thought. I had to first hunt down an appropriate flask. Then hunt down someone who could engrave it.

That took a while.

When I finally found a company willing to engrave graphics onto metal, they told me that in order for them to out Spiderman on a flask, I would have to get them permission from Marvel Comics.

Seriously.

So I called Marvel, then emailed them and got them to email a statement of permission to the people making the flask. And now I have the flask engraved. It's Spiderman on the front. And on the back it has her name, "The Apostrophist" and the words "Hey calm the fuck down."

It's a sick gift and I know she's gonna love it.

Tried to give it to her when I ran into her tonight. She was bar-hopping and had ended up at Rennies. She was drunk, and told me that she didn't want her gift right then because she wanted to be sober enough to remember it in the morning. So we decided to hold off on that.

Then she looks at me and goes, "I'm so sorry."

I look oblivious. "Sorry for what?'

"I'm sorry I'm crazy," she said. "You're so cool. I've always known that."

I tell her it's okay.

I feel like we've finally come full circle. She keeps apologizing though, and I keep saying I have to leave. She tries to persuade me to stay there at that party. That doesn'thappen. I want to come home and just not deal with things anymore.

That's what I do. And that's why I'm here right now.