The Steffiverse

I've forced myself out and about this weekend. Keep moving. Keep moving. Don't stop. Don't think. Ever. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. But I'm trying. Trying to pretend as if she's already gone. Trying to move on. I can't go on like this. It's not healthy. And doesn't achieve anything because the bottom line is that she's made her decision. It's not my place to force her to rethink it.

Went out to Snafu with the gang last night. It was Angela's idea. To keep me moving and not thinking. It was okay. Had a decent time... though Sheena was there. The girl has this really annoying way about her. And I don't think she even notices it.

The music sucked though. And I have to admit that at one point I just sat in the booth and... I don't want to say 'sulked' so I'll used 'zoned out' instead. But Alicia caught me and was like "what's wrong?" So because I didn't want to be a wet blanket I made myself snap out of it.

See, I guess being around people does help. You don't want your own mood to rub off on them and be the cause of the entire group getting grumpy and down. So you cheer up. Funny how it's easier to do it for someone else than it is to do it for myself. If I had my way, I'd sit in my room in a ball and stare at the fucking wall.