Monday, February 13, 2006
Happy
Today was good. No particular reason. I guess after the emotional roller coaster that was last week, I finally feel like I'm myself again, and like I'm getting a good grasp on the issues that make up My Life.
For one thing, while I can't say I'm happy about Sarah leaving, I'm reconciled to the fact that it's gonna happen. And the best thing I can do now is make the best of the next few weeks. No point getting mopey because there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening, and even if there was something I could do, there's no way I would actually do it because this is an awesome thing for her.
As for the Britt situation, I woke up this morning resigned to the fact that I'd done everything I possibly could, and handled the situation in the best way I knew how to-- given my own emotional predilections. I'd decided to give up the fight. And by doing that, freed myself of my own mind games.
Of course it's when you give up on something that shit invariably starts to happen. Ye-ah. Right after I've freaked out to Lanti and Angela about how Britt's avoiding me, she decides to call me.
She called at about 6pm, asking if I'd called her the night before, and saying that her phone had been on silent. We both acted as if nothing had happened, and the question I'd popped last Monday had never escaped the confines of my impulsive mouth to begin with.
We just talked, as friends. I'd lost the balls to tell her what I would've told her if she'd picked up the phone last night.
But the fact that she'd called me did wonders for my mental psyche. Because it's not until you lose something that you really cherish it. I felt like I'd come super close to losing her friendship and creating a gulf of awkwardness between us. And when she called me, it felt as if those very ties had been resurrected from the clutches of extinction.
I didn't dare push the envelope.
So instead, I'm writing her a Valentine's Day card to just say hi, that I really value her friendship, and that I'm not trying to get with her right now.
Hopefully that will set things right.
Had a late dinner at the Glenwood with Lanti and Nick. And I honestly think that was the best experience of the day. I'm so comfortable around them. It's easy to just let go and be myself with no barriers at all. I love that girl.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I love you all. You know it!
For one thing, while I can't say I'm happy about Sarah leaving, I'm reconciled to the fact that it's gonna happen. And the best thing I can do now is make the best of the next few weeks. No point getting mopey because there's nothing I can do to stop it from happening, and even if there was something I could do, there's no way I would actually do it because this is an awesome thing for her.
As for the Britt situation, I woke up this morning resigned to the fact that I'd done everything I possibly could, and handled the situation in the best way I knew how to-- given my own emotional predilections. I'd decided to give up the fight. And by doing that, freed myself of my own mind games.
Of course it's when you give up on something that shit invariably starts to happen. Ye-ah. Right after I've freaked out to Lanti and Angela about how Britt's avoiding me, she decides to call me.
She called at about 6pm, asking if I'd called her the night before, and saying that her phone had been on silent. We both acted as if nothing had happened, and the question I'd popped last Monday had never escaped the confines of my impulsive mouth to begin with.
We just talked, as friends. I'd lost the balls to tell her what I would've told her if she'd picked up the phone last night.
But the fact that she'd called me did wonders for my mental psyche. Because it's not until you lose something that you really cherish it. I felt like I'd come super close to losing her friendship and creating a gulf of awkwardness between us. And when she called me, it felt as if those very ties had been resurrected from the clutches of extinction.
I didn't dare push the envelope.
So instead, I'm writing her a Valentine's Day card to just say hi, that I really value her friendship, and that I'm not trying to get with her right now.
Hopefully that will set things right.
Had a late dinner at the Glenwood with Lanti and Nick. And I honestly think that was the best experience of the day. I'm so comfortable around them. It's easy to just let go and be myself with no barriers at all. I love that girl.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I love you all. You know it!
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