The Steffiverse

I came back from practice today hating myself. I've been playing shitty all this week. So shitty that I wouldn't ever consider putting myself on 'A' Team. I've just been really erratic. Really dazed on the field, not alert, not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Basically my head isn't in the game right now. And that just makes me so angry at myself. Because I have higher standards than this. I should not be playing like this. We have a tournament this weekend. What on earth am I doing?

I really need to step it up a notch and focus on lacrosse right now. I think my problem is that I've had a lot to deal with lately, and have had a lot on my mind.

Suddenly for the first time since I picked up the sport, lacrosse is no longer the be all and end all of my life. It's no longer the reason I wake up everyday. There are these... other things coming into play now. And that throws me out of whack because I have no idea how to deal with it.

My priorities have been flipped topsy turvy. Some rebalancing is going to have to be done.