Tuesday, January 11, 2005
The Yellow Team. Give Me a Break.
So teams were announced at lacrosse again today.
Instead of calling it the "A" Team and the "B" Team this year, some wiseass decided to go with "Green Team" and "Yellow Team". Like it makes a fucking difference. Especially when you're stuck on the Yellow Team. Which means 'B' Team again. Whichever way you look at it.
They made a big deal out of the division of teams too. The co-ordinators sat down with each girl separately for a one-on-one talk at practice today.
Basically they told me that I've improved tremendously since last year, they really appreciate my insane level of committment to the team, and that they think I could be a leader on the team. Oh yeah, by that they meant a leader on the OTHER team.
The verdict is final. Even though I made it onto the "Green" team for the first tourney of the season, that's an exception and I'm pretty much just stuck on the "Yellow" Team AGAIN for the rest of the whole fucking year.
That means no Nationals againl. I missed out on St Louis last year. Now I'm gonna miss out on Minnesota again this year. I hate this. After all the fucking effort I've put into this whole thing, I'm let down again.
I'm just oozing with disappointment, jealousy and resentment right now. I'm not proud of that because it's doesn't exactly embody good sportsmanship. But for once, I'm saying FUCK SPORTMANSHIP. This is how I feel. Cheated. Like I've cheated myself. And I've been cheated.
It just stings to know that despite my best efforts, I'm STILL not good enough. Like what the fucking fuck is that all about? WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET MYSELF SOME FUCKING ADVANCEMENT here?
Holy hell. I'm just fucking pissing mad right now. And I think the person I'm maddest with is MYSELF. I put everything I had into lacrosse this past year. What more am I supposed to do? How much more do I have to give to just get a chance to fucking prove myself?
Fuck this. Now I'm playing with a chip on my shoulder. They're not gonna be able to pass me up for 'A' Team next year. I'll show those people.
Instead of calling it the "A" Team and the "B" Team this year, some wiseass decided to go with "Green Team" and "Yellow Team". Like it makes a fucking difference. Especially when you're stuck on the Yellow Team. Which means 'B' Team again. Whichever way you look at it.
They made a big deal out of the division of teams too. The co-ordinators sat down with each girl separately for a one-on-one talk at practice today.
Basically they told me that I've improved tremendously since last year, they really appreciate my insane level of committment to the team, and that they think I could be a leader on the team. Oh yeah, by that they meant a leader on the OTHER team.
The verdict is final. Even though I made it onto the "Green" team for the first tourney of the season, that's an exception and I'm pretty much just stuck on the "Yellow" Team AGAIN for the rest of the whole fucking year.
That means no Nationals againl. I missed out on St Louis last year. Now I'm gonna miss out on Minnesota again this year. I hate this. After all the fucking effort I've put into this whole thing, I'm let down again.
I'm just oozing with disappointment, jealousy and resentment right now. I'm not proud of that because it's doesn't exactly embody good sportsmanship. But for once, I'm saying FUCK SPORTMANSHIP. This is how I feel. Cheated. Like I've cheated myself. And I've been cheated.
It just stings to know that despite my best efforts, I'm STILL not good enough. Like what the fucking fuck is that all about? WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET MYSELF SOME FUCKING ADVANCEMENT here?
Holy hell. I'm just fucking pissing mad right now. And I think the person I'm maddest with is MYSELF. I put everything I had into lacrosse this past year. What more am I supposed to do? How much more do I have to give to just get a chance to fucking prove myself?
Fuck this. Now I'm playing with a chip on my shoulder. They're not gonna be able to pass me up for 'A' Team next year. I'll show those people.
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